أبياتى

أيا نفساً زادها الطمع

لم تزل لذةً إلا أطاعتها

و إن هى برحمة ربها إستغفرت

عاودت شهواتها فلم تطق وحشتها

يناديها بارئها بتوبته

ألّا تقنط من رحمته

فتارة هى طائعة

و تارات استخففت بخشيته

لا تبرح قلبها الهفوات

إلّا بأنين علّــتِـه

ألم يأن الوقت لتوبة نصوحة

قبل بزوغ شمس من غير وجهتها

أيا نفسى زادك الذنبِ

أتشكين ضعفا أم العنتِ ؟

أبياتى

أيا نفساً زادها الطمع

لم تزل لذةً إلا أطاعتها

و إن هى برحمة ربها إستغفرت

عاودت شهواتها فلم تطق وحشتها

يناديها بارئها بتوبته

ألّا تقنط من رحمته

فتارة هى طائعة

و تارات استخففت بخشيته

لا تبرح قلبها الهفوات

إلّا بأنين علّــتِـه

ألم يأن الوقت لتوبة نصوحة

قبل بزوغ شمس من غير وجهتها

أيا نفسى زادك الذنبِ

أتشكين ضعفا أم العنتِ ؟

I tend to see complaining to people as weakness sometimes, so I'll prefer to let out what's in me here, cause no one sees it anyway.

the thing is that, I don't know what I want to do with my life, I'm lost, literally lost, not like emos who love to exaggerate every tiny piece of their normal lives into gigantic problems, but I really I'm clueless. See, I entered this college, purposeless, I didn't join it because I love it, I joined because I was running away from a different college and so I went through college, visionless -if that's a word- and I reached a level of indifference that I'm unaware of the consequences of what I'm doing -or not doing to be precise.

fara3'

Final exams are 8 days ahead so it's needless to say that i should be studying now instead of putting some letters and words together to finally form nothing in sense at all, but i'm writing anyway.

so lately i've been thinking about something, actually two, well they're more than just two but i've decided to share only two of them as these two are the ones that i have the intention to search for. first thing is, shoot i can only remember one topic now, anyhow 'll mention it anyway, so the first thing that was on my mind for some days is intelligence VS. memory, i know it sounds nothing but i promise i'll make a point out of it - or that's what i hope

No title

While checking my Yahoo inbox, I came through an interesting topic entitled "Ten ways to ruin a good night's sleep" .. Ughh I needn't read that article, I've my own unique state-of-the-art methods to ruin my sleep, however, one method is wasting time and that's why I'll read the article anyway.. So I open it up and the title changes to "10 Naughty Ways to Ruin a Good Night's Sleep", that brings visions to my mind but reading the article I find it quite innocent- we're safe.

the writer blathers about napping after 3 pm and doing exercise within 4 hours of sleep, caffeine, the only piece of info. I find worthy of posting on my ever-worthy blog is that taking a hot bath before sleep won't do you good (Surprise!) "because cooling down is actually part of going asleep (that's why you need covers)", however, if you can't do but take a shower, let it be one and a half hour before sleep. Okay I'll stop nonsense right here.

Shifting to another type of nonsense, I had this discussion with a friends the other day, she asked how I think about human, is he granted the choice to do whatever he's doing or is he just destined or forced to do so? for example, we know that each one's destiny is written down since his very beginning, including how he would die, so supposing he'll be killed, then there must be someone committing that murder, now, is it because the first was destined to be killed that another man's fate is determined to be a killer? So what I think is that, human isn't absolutely granted choices nor he forced to his destiny, it's a mix between both hypotheses, meaning that he has a destiny or a fate to fulfill but it's how he'd fulfill that is up to him. but here comes another annoying question, is fate or destiny changeable ? I'm not sure .. such a topic needs further search and discussion in it is endless which makes it provocatively interesting, if it's sound to say so

I'll be gone .. gone .. gone .. Night!

Time Recycling

So it's 2:22 am now and I'm sleepy but I don't really want to sleep, although I'm having a practical assessment tomorrow Insha'Allah as well as another issue that I've to solve, speaking of which or rather thinking makes me want to kill myself right now, but that's beside the point, also, adding up to the reasons why I should stop writing now Now and go sleep, I'm having an exam 2 days from now that I only knew about yesterday. Strong reasons, yea? However, and in the screw-college frenzy that I've been intoxicated with lately, I find it boring to get up and sleep now -taking into consideration that I'm doing nothing important at all (I mean other than finding innovative ways to waste my time), nevertheless, I don't want to sleep now.

We used to laugh till we fell down .. No, I'm not talking about my ex-love or so, it's just a song.. But it just occurred to me now, something important happened today, crucial if I may say, something that pretty much goes in harmony with the song I'm listening to now (it's like I never loved you at all by Take That). I see you're not curious at all to know what happened today and that's exactly why I'll say it anyway ..
Today, one of my very good friends, almost ended our friendship -i pray that is not for real, but she seems to be fed up with me, had enough of the weirdo me I've become lately. See, I annoyed her couple of days ago- Okay, a week ago, but I didn't call or anything, I thought it was Okay..looks like you've made your scale (oh that's another song: let me let go- Faith Hill)
What really got onto her nerves is that she sent me a msg on my cell and I couldn't reply and I forgot and ... the rest is really bad to remember, cause in brief she called today and she wasn't really blaming me, but rather explaining how much she hated the weirdo me .. her tone was different, angry yet calmly indifferent or warning to be so. Anyhow, enough with narrating the story, I just don't want to lose her, she's been so good to me since ever, we've always been good together ...... Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend? .... I hope Not


You're probably reproofing the title, trying to find any relevance, or mostly got lost in the note anyway. The reason why the title is so irrelevant is because I was intending to write about something which I forgot- apparently, and got into another thing to write.


Night for now. And so sorry for writing anyway

...لكن

(1) قد لا تكون تراه .. لكنها ترتاح كونه فى الجوار, تسعى لتتحدث إليه و لا تأخذ الخطوة, لكنها لا تأبه بذلك, فيكفيها كونه هناك .. تتمنى أن تبقى حوله طوال الليل لكن, ما عسى أن تكون حجتها ؟؟ لا ترى سبباً يقنع رفاقها بالبقاء, فتمضى معهم بعيداً مُـحـطِـمَـةً آمالها فى الكلام معه .. و يبقى شىء من الأمل داخل قلبها الأسير .. فتنظر إلى الوراء, عـلّها تراه ..تتخيل أن بُـعـدَهُ أفضل من شوقها إليه و هو أمامها... إنمـا من عساها تخدع؟! فرؤيتها له أحب إليها ..ألّـذ .. أصعب, لكنها تبقى  الأفضل ...........

(2) قد لا يكون يراها .. لكن, قد لا يكون هناك لكن .. !